Because I have more absences when I'm stressed and nervous and I am getting a bit nervous about my operation, I thought that I would have more absences, but for some reason over the past couple of days I haven't had any absences! This was the last thing I expected!
My feelings about my operation are coming in waves. Sometimes I get pretty nervous, which was what I expected to be honest. I knew that I'd probably have a feeling of nervous excitement, so I wasn't really surprised when I felt this way. When I woke up this morning, my VNS implant was the first thing that I thought about which, again, wasn't really a great shock to me. I reckon when I wake up tomorrow, it will be on my mind a bit more.
I think I am feeling nervous because I have never been under general anaesthetic before, and as much as Mum and Dad have described that feeling to me, I still continue to wonder what the feeling is like. I guess I won't know until I'll go under anaesthetic. I know it will be fine though - I've always been a worrier!
I'll update tomorrow when it's ONE day until I go into hospital! My feelings will probably be mixed, but I know that that's natural! I went to a social group of people with epilepsy so I could chat to them once (They were were a nice lot, but let's just say I'm not going back there!), and I met someone who had a VNS implant. He doesn't even need to use the magnet he uses to make his implant work any more because his implant works so well!
I feel a bit worried sometimes, and I know that it's normal to worry, but I also need to think about what the benefits are! It may work, but it may not work - you don't know if something will work until you try it!
Thanks very much! :)
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